The Unavoidable Reality of Leadership No One Prepares Managers For

Over the years, I’ve noticed a pattern. It shows up in small companies and large ones. In first-time managers and seasoned executives. And it almost always starts the same way.

A leader tells me, “I really care about my team.” They mean it. You can feel it.

Then, a few minutes later, they say something like, “Things have been intense lately. We’ll organize this once things calm down.”

But things don’t calm down. They never do. At least not without changing the processes.

Work keeps moving. Priorities shift. People get tired. And leadership — the human side of it — gets handled in the gaps between meetings, if at all. Not because leaders don’t care. But because care, without structure, doesn’t scale.

That’s the trap.

Simon Sinek puts it well: “Leadership is not about being in charge. It’s about taking care of those in your charge.”

Most managers agree with this idea. What they struggle with is turning it into something real in the middle of a busy year, complex people, and constant pressure.

The Mistake Good Managers Keep Making

Here’s what I’ve learned watching this play out again and again:

There is never a good time to organize leadership.

There is always:

More work
More urgency
More complexity
More people needing something

So if leadership support isn’t deliberately set up, it gets postponed. And postponed leadership doesn’t disappear — it becomes stress, misalignment, frustration, and eventually disengagement.

Without even getting into burnout or how most organizations fail to support managers in fast-paced environments, one thing is clear:

If the basics of leadership aren’t scheduled, they won’t happen consistently.

Why Setting a Base Changes Everything

The managers who do this well don’t rely on memory, energy, or heroic effort.

They set a base.

At minimum, they define the core leadership activities their team needs for the year and put them on the calendar — once.

Not in a document. Not “when there’s time.” In a system that runs in the background. So regardless of how busy things get, the team still gets the non-negotiable support they need.

This is the One Leadership Decision That Makes the Rest Easier

In the video, Ryan explains how he sets up 4–5 basics for his team and I follow a similar structure.

When the year starts, I literally click a button, set start dates and recurrences, and those commitments show up in my calendar (Google Calendar, but any calendar works).

1:1s Growth conversations Performance reviews Feedback moments Team check-ins Surveys Career discussions… your name it.

Everything is customizable based on company principles, methods, and culture.

The important shift is this: I don’t have to remember to be a good manager. The system reminds me and makes time for it.

Leadership Isn’t About Finding Time

This is the part many managers miss. You don’t become a better leader by trying harder. You become a better leader by removing friction, noise and making time to take care of the team.

When leadership is already scheduled:

1:1s become real conversations, not status updates
Goals and Expectations are clear
Feedback isn’t emotional or reactive
People feel supported even during intense periods

You stop “trying to lead” and start leading by design.

A Simple Challenge

If you manage people, here’s my challenge to you:

Spend 20 minutes this week setting the base for how you’ll support your team this year.

Not perfectly. Not forever. Just enough to make leadership intentional instead of accidental.

I’ll share the link to the process and templates (the one shared earlier). I use so you don’t have to start from scratch. You can adapt it to your reality, your team, and your company.

Because leadership isn’t about waiting for the right moment. It’s about deciding what matters — and making it unavoidable.

That’s how the human side of leadership actually shows up, even when work gets hard.